The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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