windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i need to put some appletini on your dick
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
