Redeem this text for a blowjob
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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