I'd wear matching sweaters with you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
