They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
