Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
