Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
