the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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