Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
