i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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