Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
