hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Your penis caused this!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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