just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize