So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
