Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
