Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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