when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
