yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
