Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
