the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
