i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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