xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
