How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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