fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
