Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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