You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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