hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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