In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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