watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
