You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
