Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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