Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
