and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The air was thick with penises
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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