I think im going to throw up on grandma
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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