census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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