Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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