if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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