I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
