Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Bring me that man meat
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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