my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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