my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
