Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
