We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
