Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
