You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
