I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
