No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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