i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize