She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
