I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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