I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize