i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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