k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
