so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
