Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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