walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
