i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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