i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
