Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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