OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Randomize
